Something I Need
by Jerseycaramel
Summary: based on OneRepublic's Something I Need. Set after the finale of season 4; Sam and Deeks getting resuced. 'What are you thinking about' She asked sleepily. 'You,' he told her without hesitation. 'If I only live once, I wanna live with you.' Rated M for swearing. Densi One-shot.


A/N: Hiya! So this is a little one-shot just after the finale with Sam and Deeks rescue. It's been swimming in my head since May and then I heard Something I need by OneRepublic and it hasn't left me alone since (If you haven't heard it, please go listen! I have a love affair with it at the moment). And seeing as season 5 airs tomorrow, I thought I might as well write this up before then. So instead of doing my 3000 word assignment due tomorrow, I've now written 3000 words on this :P

To Lily followers, the next chapter should be up sometime next week, but hopefully you'll enjoy this one too.

Seeing as I haven't been reading much Densi and S4 finale fics lately, I'm extremely sorry if somone has already had the idea and posted it!

Anyways, enjoy :)

* * *

Deeks woke with a start, and entire body jolt shaking him out of a peaceful – well, as peaceful as it gets lately – sleep. He took a deep sigh and rolled over. Two thirty-eight am. _Typical_. He raked a hand through his hair with a little groan and turned back over, eyes coming to rest on his sleeping partner. She was snuggled into her pillow, little snort snores on every other breath, inches away from his body. He smiled softly as he watched her sleep, brushing some hair out of her face with his plastered hand.

He's been through absolute hell in the last week – few weeks, he corrects himself – and she's been right there with him, keeping him sane and breathing and _alive_. Kensi Marie Blye was right there holding his hand, ready to jump of the edge with him. He wouldn't have made it through without her. She's become a crutch he never wants to live without; a safety net ready to catch him. And he's never been more grateful to have her in his life.

She snuggled closer to him, seeking out his warmth and he couldn't help but wrap his arms around her, ignoring the dull pain that radiated from his torso – the bruises haven't quite healed yet – because he was not going to deny her anything. Kensi took a deep breath, head on his chest now, and sighed contently. Deeks can honestly say that he'd never been happier. With _everything_ they've all been through – he would have preferred not to be tortured, though…

*~-=.oOo.=-~*

Blood, pain, agony. Deeks had to hand it to the man, he was creative with his torture, though, he hated to admit, Deeks had suffered worse and lived to tell the tale. There was absolutely no way he was giving them anything they wanted, and neither was Sam.

So far they'd been there for over a day, he guessed. He still had all of his limbs, fingers, toes, but he'd probably lost two or so pints of blood, hence the wooziness that swirled in his head. That drill had been the worst of it, and he really didn't want to lose another tooth. Oh, and by the way _fuck it had hurt!_ Pain ripped through him when he breathed the wrong way; moved the wrong way, the open nerves touching his tongue.

They had drilled, in full view of Sam after Deeks had just finished watching him get electrocuted. Both men could hear the others' screams. A head fuck, and a good pressure point playing the men off one another. Igor, as Deeks had nicknamed Sidorov's head torture guy, teased his soft palate with an unmoving drill, threatening to turn on at any moment and push through the delicate skin, ending his life. But, unfortunately, it wasn't his first rodeo. They wouldn't kill him or Sam until they got what they wanted, and even then, it wouldn't be creatively. It would be clean and simple: a bullet to the head or heart.

Blood had drizzled down his throat, and a trip to the dentist might never happen again. His fingernails would grow back – they have before – and the bones in his right hand will heal, so would all the cuts and gashes. His swollen eyes would eventually go back to their original size and his jaw would mend – hopefully like it had before.

He could take it: the pain, the torture, the fear of his own demise; all of that Deeks could take in stride, but what was worse was watching Sam get tortured in the room next to him. Through the grubby glass door, Deeks could see everything that Sam had endured and vice versa, that alone had him struggling not to talk; wanting nothing more than to save Sam from more agony. Pain inflicted on himself Deeks could handle – been handling since birth, practically – but watching a co-worker and friend get electrocuted and beaten in the next room had Deeks on the verge of telling them what they wanted. The moment he did that, though, they'd _all_ be dead. They just had to wait for the cavalry. For Sam's wife and his work wife... and Kensi. Kensi...

In the moments after the torture, when their captors had their backs turned, Deeks had seen Sam's eyes go wide and his mouth moving the words 'thank you,' before slipping into unconsciousness. He knew how the man felt: he'd expect nothing less of Sam if it was Kensi's alias and life they were trying to protect.

Thank God he kissed her when he did, as himself and not as Justin or some other alias. So far, it was the only thing that had kept him going; the thought of her warm lips against his and she didn't pull away from him. It was his turn to shock the life out of her, and he did, stunned her into silence for a few seconds even. And what did he expect? Her to say 'I love you' and hear the romantic music in the background? No. It wasn't that kind of movie. They were on a mission and he stepped over their _line_; changing their relationship when she had to shadow Michelle. Maybe she could have said something, like 'that was nice' or _anything_, but Deeks knew her too well. The dynamic instantly changed and maybe if it had been a normal day during, one of their normal bickering arguments, things might have been different and Kensi might have acknowledged it better.

But it wasn't and she didn't.

He was planning on confronting her after the case when he could beat down her door, feed her food and beer and he wouldn't leave her alone no matter how hard she tried to push him away. He planned to get an answer one way or another. But life doesn't go to plan. Sidorov somehow knew he was being played, Sam was drowning and now they were being tortured. So that plan was put on the back burner.

She didn't pull away from him, and that alone gave him hope.

Deeks heard voices getting closer and he knew he was about to endure another round, so he went to his happy place, the one that consisted of surf, Monty and his partner, and lots of kisses. No matter how much they threatened, these monsters couldn't take her away from him.

Something was off as they came into his room this time. Two men, _Igor, _with an evil smirk on his face and a crony, pulled a figure into the room, followed by two other men, Sidorov and another minion. The person being dragged into the room had a black hood over their head concealing their identity, hands handcuffed behind their back and an LAPD vest covering their chest - but Deeks knew that body.

What little blood he had left in his body went cold, and he desperately schooled his face, eyes darting quickly to Sam, though the other man hadn't quite realised who they were dragging in. Deeks didn't expect the man to check out his pseudo baby sister everyday like he did.

What the _fuck?! _ Why the fuck was she here?

'A present for you,' Sidorov sneered, absolutely evil grin on his face as his crony sat her down hard in a chair opposite him.

The hood was ripped off and Kensi appeared looking dishevelled but unhurt. Her eyes went wide as they found him, horror written all over her face at his appearance - he must have looked terrible - and then relief as she found him alive. It was like a switch had been flicked on and her expression changed as she went into operator mode, fear and distress swimming over her features as Sidorov circled her like a shark.

Deeks' eyes flicked to Sam as recognition flicks across his face. The older man looked worried – terrified, even – that they have Kensi, that they're all going to die, and that Sidorov will get Michelle. Deeks can see the panic in his eyes, because they _all_ know what Kensi means to him.

'She says she's your partner,' Sidorov continued, his slimy fingers curling in her ponytail. Deeks had the urge to break all of his fingers. 'Too pretty, to be _only_ your partner. Tell me, have you had her yet?'

He gulped in response, eyes focused solely on Kensi's now, and she showed no reaction to the statement as her eyes locked onto his. She was willing him to be strong, for all of their sakes.

'Ahh, no, then,' Sidorov chuckled. 'But you _want_ to.' Slimy fingers trailed down her neck and Kensi's lip curled up in disgust and alarm. 'Maybe I should show you what you're missing out on?' His hand trailed her collar bone and Kensi shrugged away. Deeks blood started to boil, tensing his weak arms, trying to break free of the bonds.

'It seems, I have found a pressure point. One better than the last,' he said, the malevolent chuckle resonated in the small room as he took a quick look over his shoulder at Sam.

'Marty-' A knife was then placed at Kensi's throat silencing her.

'Please!' Deeks chocked out.

'Tell me everything I want to know, or I will make you watch,' he sneered. He wasn't talking about watching him kill Kensi – not yet, anyway. 'Who are you?'

'I'm LAPD,' Deeks moaned, the salty tears burning the bloody crevasses in his face. 'She's my partner.'

'And Quinn, is she an agent?'

'I don't even know who she is!' Deeks yelled, pain ripping through him at the energy it cost.  
An agonising groan ripped through him as his head slumped to his chest. He kept the cover story, using the half truths, because he didn't know Michelle all that well, but if he didn't believe him then he'd just sentenced Kensi

There was a commotion outside the room, snapping their attention from Deeks and Kensi. Sidorov dropped the knife from Kensi's neck and Deeks felt a little relief. He nodded to one of the men and he left silently. Her head spun quickly to the door, then back to her partner with of those looks that he read on a daily basis. _You with me?_

_Oh, thank God._

Sidorov left Kensi, and moved back towards Deeks, leaving the scene open for Deeks' torturer – Sidorov never did the dirty work, just looked big and menacing as he watched from a corner barking out questions. Kensi at least had the decency to look petrified as Igor opened his kit of instruments.

'Please, I just want my partner back!' Kensi pleaded, looking at Sidorov. 'I don't want any part of this, I just want him back! Let us go, please! And we won't breathe a word of this to anyone!'

Sidorov sneered, yanking Deeks head back painfully quickly, 'How sweet, she feels the same: with everything that's going on, she bargains for one man. You.

'Do you really think we can just let you go now?'

'We won't breathe a word to anyone, I promise!' she tried again, tear sparkling in her eyes. She was extremely good, though Deeks had never doubted her abilities. He was almost believing her himself.

'Maybe you are LAPD, you're really not bright enough to be an agent,' he said waving her off.

A gunshot rang off, quite close to the room they were in and Sidorov actually jumped. Igor spun to the door, scalpel in hand, the other headed for his weapon as he got closer to Kensi. In one quick movement, Kensi had grabbed the knife, stabbed him, stripped him of his gun and pointed it at Sidorov, handcuffs swinging off her wrist. Deeks allowed himself a smile at his princess before he felt the cool blade graze his throat.

'Maybe you are smart enough to be an agent, but are you confident enough to shoot me without slitting his throat?'

His partner looked him in the eye, resolutely. She was unwavering and confident, and didn't even hesitate.

The knife cut into his skin, but barely enough to draw blood before it clattered to the ground, along with Sidorov.

The door burst open, Callen appeared in the door frame, cut along his arm from a bullet graze. He scanned the room, until his eyes fell on Deeks tied to the chair, and the corpse bleeding out behind him. The door burst open in the room next to them, Michelle ran to her husband, hands flying over his face and releasing him. Deeks could see their backup in the hall, finishing up securing the place.

'Check on Sam,' Kensi ordered, feet finally lurching towards her partner. Quick fingers untied him from the chair before grazing over the wounds on his face.

'Kens-'

'Shut up,' she told him, kissing him forcefully, but he'd suffer through the pain for that. Deeks knew his mouth was still bloody, and yet she didn't care, just kissed his lips a few more times before resting her forehead gently on his.

'How's that for communication?' she panted hotly across his lips. His bloodied fingers traced her cheek gently and he sagged limply against her, his body finally giving out. She took the weight, easily and gladly, wrapping her arms around his neck.

'I'll never doubt them again,' he chuckled weakly before wincing in pain. 'You're wearing my vest.'

'Got a problem with that?' he heard the challenge in her voice and revelled in the _sameness_ of it.

'I knew you liked my scent,' he chuckled.

'Yes, Shaggy,' she smiled, kissing him again. 'I like the whole lot of you.'

'If you two are done making out,' Callen scolded disgustedly from the glass partition. Deeks could tell the man was happy their co-workers were alive and breathing, but he really didn't need to see his colleagues and friends kissing like mad in front of him.

'Go suck a lemon, Callen.' Kensi said, not even turning around as she stole another quick kiss.

'Don't make me laugh, it hurts,' Deeks gritted out, loving her complete lack of care at the PDA in front of their Team Leader.

'Hetty is glad you guys are ok. We all are.' Callen said, finger to his ear relaying the message.

'Yeah, me too.' They were both lucky to be alive - all three of them. Which reminded him – 'Don't ever risk your life for me like that again, Kensi. He could have-'

Callen had retreated back to his partner in the other room as soon as the words had come out of Deeks' mouth.

'I'm going to let that slide and not punch you considering how banged up you are,' she glared at him. 'Just tell me one thing, Deeks, if I had been captured and you knew I was being tortured for information, would you not risk everything to save me?'

In a heartbeat, he thought. No way would he let anyone get away with taking her, torturing her, doing God knows what— The only reason why he was so calm when the Russians took her was because he could see her, and they weren't hurting her – not like what he'd endured. And that was before he knew he was in love with his partner. Now, if anyone takes her, he'd go through hell and back to make sure she was safe.

'Of course I would.' He breathed in defeat and she kissed him again.

'Exactly, because if I'm going to die Marty, I'm going to die with you. I will risk _everything_ to save you. Do you understand me?'

'Yes, ma'am,' he smiled, heart beating erratically in his chest, because _damnit,_ he was important to her. She said it, no takesy-backsies. He didn't let his hopes get up at meaning of 'everything', didn't want to push her, especially now with emotions running high, but she admitted that he was worth it.

'Ambulances have arrived,' one of the backup announced, and not a minute later, had the paramedics turned up looking over his body, moving Kensi out of the way so they could care for him.

'Don't leave me,' Deeks blurted out.

'Not even if you wanted me to,' she smiled, but kept her distance as the professionals worked and didn't even ask permission when she hopped in the ambulance next to him.

*~-=.oOo.=-~*

The next week was all hospitals and tests and less pain than before. Sam had come and apologised at one point, for being an ass and, of course, Deeks had taken it, gladly. The ex-SEAL was finally accepting of him, but they both would have preferred them not go through all this crap to get there. Kensi had kept her promise and hadn't left his side; and her kisses had been getting better, if that were at all possible.

The next week he was out, bandaged up, cast on his hand and ribs bound, cuts all patched up, and Kensi wheeling him out of the hospital. She had moved in to take care of him and Monty and he wasn't planning on letting her move back out.

She'd soothed him when the nightmares came, every night he had them without fail, never getting pissed for interrupting her sleep and tonight was no exception.

'Hey,' she mumbled slowly, pulling away and looking up at his face. 'Can't sleep?'

'Just thinking,' he told her quietly, fingers trailing gently over her arm. Deeks took great pleasure in the shiver she gave him in response to his touch.

They'd only slept together biblically the other night, and not like he'd imagined it, but his crippled body hadn't allowed him to take care of her how he wanted and she'd done most of the work. No way was he complaining though, _oh hell_, no. Neither one of them could deny the heat any longer and as much as he wanted to wait until he was healed, it was like she was his drug of choice and he was a very happy addict.

He loved this woman. Loved her with every breath he took, because she was the reason he was breathing now. He watched as she woke up more, the sleepiness leaving her eyes as she stared into his. 'What are you thinking about?'

'You,' he told her without hesitation. 'If I only live once, I wanna live with you.'

Deeks didn't give her a chance to respond before he moved forward and kissed her with every bit of _everything_ he felt for her. It was times like these that he thought she would run; run so far away because of her commitment issues, never letting anyone get close. Those thoughts were his own issues of self worth because he still couldn't believe that she'd want _him _of all people. As always, she proved him wrong. His head spun when her hand pulled at his neck, the ever present need to have him closer as she kissed him back just as fiercely.

'That was so cheesy,' she panted, a smile across those lips he'd never get bored of. Her fingers toyed with his hair as they caught their breath.

'You wouldn't have me any other way.'

Legs wrapped around his torso, pushing him gently onto his back as she straddled him, fingers splaying across his chest. 'No,' she grinned wickedly. 'I wouldn't.'

Kensi couldn't control the amount of cheesy-ness that ran through his head, because she was the something that he needed, and she was _going to kill him_. Especially when she did that thing with her tongue…

He didn't think of much else except: _What a way to go_.

* * *

A/N: probably not my best work, but let me know what you think.

Reviews give me a happy!


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